My cousin sent me this and I thought it was hilarious
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for Buster, my Lab at Wal-Mart and was standing
in line about to check out.
A woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
First thing I thought was
'where is your sign lady' but decided to go with
it...SO.. on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't
have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina
weight loss Diet again.
I also told her I probably
shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an inten sive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her
that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is, you load your pan ts pockets
with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it
again.
I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story to say the least.
Totally horrified, the lady
asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me.
I told her no; I had stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car
hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going
to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore."