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Jokes and Humor - Jude 2

Jokes and Humor

A place for games, chatter, and anything else that seems to fit.

Moderator: The J2 Mod Squad

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Susie Hamilton
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Jokes and Humor

Postby Susie Hamilton » May 27th, 2009, 2:07 pm

A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.

He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago."Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.

"What do you have there?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
To God be the Glory.

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Susie Hamilton
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Getting older

Postby Susie Hamilton » May 27th, 2009, 2:11 pm

Dear Grandson:

I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday.

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life. Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

Love, Grandma

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"
___________
To God be the Glory.

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soulsearcher
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Postby soulsearcher » June 3rd, 2009, 4:43 am

A pianist and singer are rehearsing 'Autumn Leaves' for a concert and the pianist says, 'OK. We will start in G minor and then on the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. When you get to the bridge, modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. On the last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor.'

The singer answers, 'Crikey, I don't think I can remember all of that.'
The pianist replies, 'Well, that's what you did last time.'

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Susie Hamilton
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Traffic Camera

Postby Susie Hamilton » June 5th, 2009, 11:05 am

To God be the Glory.


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