Postby RamboPreacher » November 3rd, 2008, 1:04 pm
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, 'cept Johnny DeLouse.
He polished his gun and topped the agitator,
waiting for Santa, who would be by later.
A cruel trick Santa played on last Christmas day,
when he left for poor Johnny, a lowly Stingray.
He'd worked through the summer at the local meat locker,
he saved up and bought a tricked out Autococker.
He waited for Santa in a tactical crouch,
his cammies matched perfectly his mother's new couch.
His red dot cast an eerie glow on the place,
as he waited for Santa to show his fat face.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
that Johnny got ready for Santa to splatter.
He pulled down his Spectras and chambered a ball,
'cause Santa was here and was fixing to call.
Santa's no dummy, he's got intuition.
He came down the chimney with his own ammunition.
He wore an Intruder and sported a 'Mag,
A case of RP was tucked in his bag.
The volley that followed was more than just fair,
the paintballs collided in the middle of air.
Johhny dove for cover as Santa moved too,
the place would be wrecked before they were through.
When their hoppers were empty and the firing had quit,
Johnny wiped off his goggles, he couldn't see "anything".
Ol' Santa was crouching down on one knee
and stacking the presents under the tree.
Johnny was aiming to shoot him some more,
when all of a sudden, his jaw hit the floor.
Santa ignored him, in his eye was a glisten.
He layed out for Johnny a nitrogen system.
He went up the chimney as quick as he'd come
and left Johnny dripping paint, emotionally numb.
He'd ambushed ol' Santa and was now feeling mean,
Santa had the last laugh, he left him to clean.
Johnny straightened the stockings and wiped up the paint.
He cleaned until morning, he thought he would faint.
Santa's an awesome player, he thought in his head,
as trudged to his room and fell in his bed.
Don't wait up for Santa on this Christmas eve,
that jolly old fat guy has a trick up his sleeve.
If you've revenge in your eye like Johnny Delouse,
you'll only wind up bruised and cleaning the house.
Thanks, Brent "RamboPreacher" Hoefling