Burning Questions, and Great Put-downs

TW · Postby TW » December 2nd, 2007, 7:15 am

Burning Questions:

Why is it only drug dealers and software developers call their clients 'users'?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Great Put-downs:

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Use them wisely . . .

TW

soulsearcher · Postby **soulsearcher** » December 3rd, 2007, 4:29 am

TW, love these!

One of my favs... maybe not a put down, but still a good one:

"While you've got your head up there why don't you check for polyps?"

Postby **Shellie** » December 3rd, 2007, 4:58 am

You used to bother me, but now I take a pill for that.

Yet, despite the look on my face you're still talking.

Your villiage called. Their idiot is missing.

soulsearcher · Postby **soulsearcher** » December 7th, 2007, 3:49 am

I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it.

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

Go ahead. Tell us everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.

jessicacook · Postby **jessicacook** » December 30th, 2007, 7:36 pm

soulsearcher wrote:Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah........ :lol:

Hilarious!!!

dolfan · Postby **dolfan** » January 2nd, 2008, 7:04 pm

Shellie wrote:
Your villiage called. Their idiot is missing.

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza offered, "Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called. They're running out of you."

DeWayneTN · Postby **DeWayneTN** » January 4th, 2008, 5:37 am

(from Just Shoot Me) - I just realized something: you're boring and my legs work.

Gerald Creasy · Postby **Gerald Creasy** » January 4th, 2008, 5:45 am

Shellie wrote:Yet, despite the look on my face you're still talking.

Look who's spending three weeks with their Mother In Law!!!

Postby **Shellie** » January 4th, 2008, 6:28 am

Gerald wrote:

Look who's spending three weeks with their Mother In Law!!!

Why do you bait me so?

Can one overdose on blood pressure medicine..........................

TW · Postby TW » January 4th, 2008, 12:03 pm

If you sue a parsley farmer will the judge garnish his profits?

sweetpea · Postby **sweetpea** » January 14th, 2008, 1:48 am

You are so ugly,it looks like you have been whipped with an ugly stick.

soulsearcher · Postby **soulsearcher** » January 14th, 2008, 7:26 am

I may be drunk but I'll be sober in the morning. You'll still be ugly.

dolfan · Postby **dolfan** » January 15th, 2008, 6:48 am

sweetpea wrote:You are so ugly,it looks like you have been whipped with an ugly stick.

My personal favorite:

You so ugly, when you was born yo momma toted you upside down for a week and thought you was one-eyed.

soulsearcher · Postby **soulsearcher** » January 15th, 2008, 7:40 am

Or as my Daddy used to say, "She could draw a blister on a brick wall."

sweetpea · Postby **sweetpea** » January 15th, 2008, 12:13 pm

you are so ugly,we have to tie a porkchop around your neck so the dog will play with you.

Jude 2