HELP...boring youth group

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Shellie
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HELP...boring youth group

Postby Shellie » February 1st, 2007, 5:01 am

Okay, here's the problem.

I've seen youth groups that were all play and no meat. Those aren't good. Ours is all meat and no play. This is not good either. Our youth are bored to death. Our youth minister is a serious personality and tends to talk above their heads. They have solid, mature "bible study" as their youth service. He allows no play because they can't go with it without being disruptive. He is good hearted and has the best intention, but I feel that he is lacking in ideas to keep their interest.

In the mean time, our youth group is starting to dwindle. Part of it is the kids themselves as they start to drive, get more freedom, and get into wordly things. However, I do feel part of it is that youth group is way too serious at this point and they have lost interest.

They used to participate with their own sermonettes and things like this, but that has dropped off as well.

How do you all incorporate serious youth study with play and make it work. How does the "typical" youth service work at your church?
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Postby Pastor Bill » February 1st, 2007, 11:47 am

OK, you need to talk to Joey & Kenya (or just come up for a visit and sit in with them at time or two) I can't take any credit for it, but I have never seen such a strong youth.

They do give them alot of playtime and social time, that's important because they have developed relationships and the friends that they hang out with, IS the youth group, rather than youth group being something you attend, but your main group of friends are elsewhere.

They do have there serious times, it's not all just fun and games, but they purposefully give them time to socialize, and the fact is it works.
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The age-old problem

Postby Pastor Gary » February 1st, 2007, 12:05 pm

We went from a games-games-games youth group to a super-serious guy (GREAT guy, smart guy, wonderful heart) who is all intense.

That right balance is so delicate, and elusive.
"God is excited to show you mercy. He rises to give you His compassion." (Isaiah 30:18)

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you surround them with your favor as with a shield." (Psalm 5:12)

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Postby Kenya » February 1st, 2007, 1:03 pm

Aww, gee. Thanks Bill!

I guess that gives me permission to offer my 2 cents.

From 19 years of trial and error.....

PRAY for them daily. Each one.
BE an example, but not "holier than thou"
DON'T expect them to be just like you
DON'T try to be one of them
DO remember what your life was like at their age
BE flexible in your teaching style and subject matter - all groups are different. One style does not fit all.
TEACH them the Word and encourage them to search the scriptures for themselves
GIVE them plenty of fellowship time. Their bonds are what keeps them coming back - not a good message
ENCOURAGE them to be there for each other and to go to each other with their problems. You'd be amazed at how a youth group can minister among themselves.
BE there for their special occasions when possible (games, graduations, surgeries, etc)
ACKNOWLEDGE it publically when they do something wonderful.
INTERACT with them outside of church (myspace, cell phones, im, etc.)
OPEN your home to them and feed them - this is a biggie, but if you aren't willing to do it, you won't be as effective
MAKE sure there are NO cliques allowed. Insist that ALL are treated equal and teach them to love people with their warts and all
USE them in the main church ministry - even if it's something you have to create for them to do.
PLAN times for them to work together to help the church or a member or just someone in need (yard work, maintenance, etc)
KEEP your rules simple and few. Pick your battles. We have one guy that doesn't want to wear shoes during church. He comes voluntarily, without his family and we are just glad he's there.
LET yourself be silly and have fun with them.
DON'T give up on them if they stop coming. Find out what's going on and let them know that when they need you, you are there for them.
SPEND some one on one time with each of them. Develop a relationship.
GET to know their parents. You will need their parent's trust.
Kenya

I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing! Galatians 2:21


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Postby Joey » February 2nd, 2007, 8:14 am

Does your youth minister have teens? Would he/she be able to at least be able to go back in time and remember what it was like or has it been so long that they forgot what it was like?
If these answers are no, then he may be in the wrong area of ministry.
See if he would be comfortable somewhere else?

A part time Youth minister's schedule:
Sunday -
Sunday School: Class is geared to understand that teens don't sleep on Saturday night. Bring food (donuts & pop) and have a lesson that incorporates scripture, but also with light hearted reality. A few moments of catching up in the beginning of class may even lead the youth minister to realize an opportunity to minister to another need rather than the lesson prepared. This forces the minister to be on their toes scripturally and spiritually. Sensitive to what only the Holy Spirit can know.
When the regular worship service starts, beg, plead, whatever, to get them to sit with you, close to the front. The leader leads by example and the youth realize they are an important part of the congregation. For the most part they are shy, but this is important to keep them from just warming a pew in the back. If you pretty much force them to sit together, it takes the pressure off of them on seating because you "made them" sit there. On any given Sunday, we have 8 -15 teenagers sitting on the 3rd and 4th pews.
After church for lunch, we have an unwritten rule that we all save enough money through the week to go out to the local diner. It's not much, but kids will eat anything and it keeps the social train going. They are social creatures and MUST have this time.
After lunch, the "herd" has usually realized what it wants to do next, so they load up (even some adults) and head to that place. Cards, riding 4 wheelers, horses, movies, rent a movie, ...whatever. This usually requires some effort from the teens parents to offer their homes as sacrifice.

Monday -
It's not unusual to have one or two of the driving teens to stop by or the younger ones to text message your phone. Text messaging and myspacing are true necessities for the youth minister of today. You have to stay with the times and buy the toys. If there is service work to be done at the church or with other members, this is the day to plan that. GET THE YOUTH INVOLVED. This will bring buy-in. When the youth can walk through the church or see an elder in the church that they ministered to in some way, they will feel more like a part of the team then what the COGOP organization made them feel like this past Assembly or two. The organization does not realize the resource they have in these youth/young adults, but by leaving them out as they do, we say their not important and then we wonder why they don't want to come?

Tuesday -
Perhaps a few are able to meet up tonight to do whatever is needed in the body. Cut the grass, fix the roof, meet and pray with someone, etc. Teach them to do this secretly and to allow the Lord to get the credit. But they will learn that even as the Lord gets the credit, they get a blessing too. They began to feel like a part of the body as they "wash the feet"(symbolically) of the saints.

Wednesday -
At the very least, teach them to save this weeknight for church. The Hebrews 10:25 scripture warns us to stick together for encouragement, especially as the days get harder. No verse says it better to the young person. They need encouragement, so be very in tune with the Lord as you select a topic or passage of scripture to discuss.
Yes, you must have discussion about topics. It takes a smart leader to realize that the kids will not learn much from his preaching. The youth learn from their own discoveries and that every success and failure means something. Teach REAL life stuff. They don't care that moses led the people through the wilderness - unless it makes since to them in relation to their life.
Teach them that if their work schedule keeps them from meeting together, then they probably need to find another job. Is this too big for God to do? Let it be one of their first miracles they prayed for.

Thursday -
More text messaging and calls around the group to set up the weekend. Then they call the youth minister and tell him/her what they are doing - may invite the youth minister to his own house. If he has food, then ok.


Friday -
Either do a monthly fellowship gathering, or guide them to hang together. What you're doing is multi purposed. You're not only teaching them to stick together, but you're helping them to develop bonds where they will check to see what each other is doing before they go somewhere else. Keeps them out of trouble most of the time, and helps us to know where they are and be able to watch them closer because they are still youth and have temptations.
We have sleepovers all of the time, but we never allow them to sleep boy/girls in the same place. They split up at that point. They understand because we also talk about sexual temptations and relationships all of the time. (another example of talking about real life) On that subject, they say it creeps them out when an adult talks to them about it, but I've learned that they really want to know these "secrets" but they play it cool.

Saturday -
More of the same sleepover stuff. the youth minister gets little sleep because he goes to bed last and wakes up first, but you have to keep a safe place for the parents to entrust their kids to you and for the kids to realize their will be no craziness at your house. Your house is a safe place. There will be 50 sleepovers or get together at the youth ministers house if he is serious about his ministry. Ministry does not take place in 2 hours a week (Sunday morning and wed night) but if God has led you to be a youth minister, you're a youth minster 24/7. Even if it means waking up at 3am because one of them has called you to come get them because they're in trouble.

There are many nights that it will just be one or two of you, talking about a problem over coffee. Sometimes, you'll even have to deal with them not wanting you around - when that happens, go out with your spouse. On that note, DO Include the spouse in the youth ministry - it brings balance!!!!
Be like Jesus to them. Love them without payback. Open your house to them until they know they can come over anytime. Be obligated to them.

If the youth ministry is not working, find the problem and fix it before its too late. The devil would have us to sit and watch it slowly fall apart. God help us to never give up on our kids without a fight.

And finally, (speaking overall) if their be any praise, or any gain, then give that back to the Lord in thanksgiving. All we are is seed planters, waterers, fertilizers and soil turners. God does the growing. Give Him the credit for the local youth ministry as He helps it to become the best it can be.
And may God give us all the strength we need to be all we can be for Him and to never take this youth position for granted. Because one day, they will not be youth anymore and we'll have to look back and see if our efforts made a difference.

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Postby ImaPK » February 2nd, 2007, 3:56 pm

:shock: Where were Joey and Kenya when I was a kid? :cry: ...It is great to see youth leaders such as you two in the COGOP of today...I truly admire and respect the both of you...kids in your church have a REAL CHANCE of turning out a lot better then the majority of those of my generation...keep up the good work :D
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. Author Unknown.

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Postby justsam » February 2nd, 2007, 7:08 pm

He allows no play because they can't go with it without being disruptive.


One thing I would remind him of is that the purpose of the youth group is to minister to the needs of the youth(versus to give him a chance to preach). One of those needs (especially during the school-year) is the chance to blow off some steam physically after being cooped up in school all day.

In addition, I always found the young people will be more attentive during the serious study time if they had some time to do physical tasks.

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Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God? (Jesus)

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Re: HELP...boring youth group

Postby rjjunior » February 3rd, 2007, 10:12 am

Shellie wrote: How does the "typical" youth service work at your church?


We've had a general formula for a while that seems to work pretty well.

6-6:30 meet, greet, hang out (ping pong, pool, etc)
6:30-6:45 group "get-together" game
6:45-7:30 Occasional student devo, followed by youth pastor 'talk,' followed by group discussion with a couple pre-prepared questions (in smaller groups, usually girls/guys or whatever)
7:30-8+ Worship with the youth band. This is usually very 'spiritual.' We are unapologetic about getting serious and intimate with God.

Variety. It also means changing up the elements at times to give the feel of "Wow! New!" even if it is the same basic stuff. Ministry is "creative redundancy," after all.

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Postby MrDanger » February 5th, 2007, 6:23 am

We begin like this:
1. General discussion - what's going on, what has been happening in the world, what fun things are going on - this usually is pretty funny listening to everyone talk about their weeks.

2. We do a fun activity either at this point or at the end of it. We did Dance Dance Revolution for about ten minutes one Wednesday. No one was exempt. I had to do it also. :shock:

3. Then a sermon/discussion (I encourage them to interrupt and discuss at any time or to ask questions - an interactive sermon). These sermon's are working through the teachings/sayings of Christ. If it's written in red, we are teaching/talking about it.
"Students are encouraged to mingle with the midgets." - Mr. Jones' 1st Block Class


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